The being twenty-something blues!

You know you’ve hit the blues

When everything seems out of control

And you don’t even have a clue!

Most of us from the twenties would associate

With this phenoma that I call

“The being twenty something blues”

The mind is too confused…full of questions,

Seeking answers to each of them but finding none!

Be it your education, job, love, life…

Everything in general seems screwed!!

There are times,

When you just keep on pondering…

What are you made for? Or what is made for you?

Maybe you want everything!

Maybe you want nothing!!

To be or not to be is the big question

To do or die such is the situation!

When gloomy days lurk ahead

When depression ensues unsaid!

When everything done is in despair

When all seems totally beyond repair!

The future seems bleak

The present seems weak

The past has passed

Many memories of it missed!

                                                   You feel alone…        

                                                   You feel nobody is mine…

You want to live the present moment…

You want to make it work to your advantage…

But you don’t know how!

When you want to act your age

But all you do sometimes is cry like a child

You can’t express the mess in your head

For the fear of being judged “silly” and “weird”

You judge yourself too much

Always think of self as “small” and “little”

Your ideas are big. thoughts revolutionary

You want to be someone…with fame and money

An actor, A director, A dancer, A singer

A writer, A doctor with big degrees and name!

But the times and finances are not much supportive

And things seem not going as planned, falling out of place

Coz education is priority,

All other hobbies achieve the status of minority!

It’s a time when even parents stop asking questions

Co’z you aren’t a teen any more

They want you to self analyse and score

All the goods and bads

Of the decisions you take

All the pros and cons

Of the mistakes you make

Their glaring looks,

Their baggy eyes,

Their drooping shoulders,

Their dried-up skin

All make you realize

The need for being responsible

Coz the tender seeds they had sown

Are now trees full grown!

It’s a time when acceptance and expectance seems ruthless

Be it by friends, your someone special or even a spectator!

When they love you, you feel like his highness!

When they ditch you, you feel hopeless,

It’s a time when rejection and failure seems unacceptable

So much so that the success of those who have moved ahead

Makes you believe you’re worth nothing and can’t do anything

Makes you feel so paralysed, that it saps out all your energy

It’s a time when you have to make the most important decisions of life…

Be it education, career or marriage..

When you don’t want to study further and are coaxed to…
You feel like Ranbir Kapoor from “wake up sid”

When you don’t have job and are desperate to get one…

You feel like the farmers from vidarbha praying for that one drop of rain!
And when you can’t get married to the person you love…

You feel like “har kisko nahi milta yaha pyaar zindagi me…”
The transient fleet of emotions

Makes you even more vulnerable!!!

Amidst this trouble..
Amidst this rubble..

Is the struggling you

Trying to figure out

What is that’s going wrong

What you need to do…to be strong

What will make you happy

What will help you break the anarchy

You know you need to take control

And steer clear of

What are your priorities

What are your preferences

Stop being a choice

Give all your thoughts a voice!

It is this time when you have to stand up for yourself

Co’z nor your parents neither anyone else

Completely can sense

The caught up you…

As you appear calm outside

But enmasse a storm inside

Co’z these aren’t silly problems of teenage

Or some psychiatric fits of rage

It is a fight deep down

Between the id, the ego and the supergo

A war to balance your life…
It’s a phase when you realize

                                                           Only you will be held responsible

                                                           For the consequences of your actions

                                                           Only you will be judged by your demeanour

This phase is the dirtiest

But once you overcome it will be the mightiest

Coz when you look back…

All mistakes made will be laughed off…

Will be seen as small hurdles to reach your destiny

All those who thought unworthy of you will be written off…

Will be seen as critics who helped you be sane mentally

All the right decisions will be applauded

All the achievements will be celebrated

All the hurt and pain

Won’t seem in vain

They will be glorified as your best teachers

All the distraught

Which you fought

It will be revered as your best preacher

Coz many a times there awaits a rainbow after the rain…

And there is no night which ain’t followed by sunshine!!!