We have had history

Yes we have had history together
But i wouldn't like it anymore
We have faced rough weather
But i would like to stop it right here

I want to keep my past in the past
Cuz thats where its supposed to be
And move ahead with a speed lightening fast
Cuz thats where i am supposed to be

I don't want to be in a space
Where its all about you
I don't want to be in a mess
Where you don't even ask me a "how do you do?"

I don't want those shackles to be my master
And let your demons scare me
I don't wanna care for you hereafter
And be the carefree soul i was and still want to be!

Its been a while that i have been pondering
About all plans i made, all dreams i saw
When you came along
And the world seemed a sweet singsong
And now i am lost wondering
If i loved you, was it my crime,did i break a law!

If you didn't want to stay
Why did you even express a desire
And let my world astray
Where i killed myself with a burning fire
When i cried nights long
For the reason seemed irrational
And the season so burdening,
Evrything looked confrontational

Today i have moved on,
Made peace with me,my heart and your presence
But sometimes even your shadow frightens me
For i might fall for you again
For that is my worst fear, amd if it comes true
All those memories will come unguarded, uninvited
And again i will be lost on a journey without a destination
Again i would be doing things without a purpose or a goal

So, i now love darkness,
I now love being distraught
I now love not to love anyone
I now love not to meet people
I now love loneliness
I now love not to share my happiness,
I now love not to share my grief
I now love not to express

And sometimes i feel like pleading to you,
To please leave me alone..
I know our friendship is precious for us
But just give me some time to readjust
It might be easy for you to not feel anything
But it isn't that simple for me to get over with
this is a chapter of life I want to keep closed for now
Might be I will flip throught it sometime later...
Might be then i will take it as a learning lesson &and feel better...
So just let me be my way for a while
Until,
I find a way back into happines
I find a way back to myself...